arine technologies’, which usually turns out to mean seaweed or plankton, mud (it’s called fange in France, chérie) or just plain old sea water, are other miracle cosmetic ingredients that pop up now and then. Magazines practically wet themselves about sea water. One said, “It’s naturally alive, containing living organisms, which have a self-purifying and rejuvenating power.” Not to mention anchovies, squid and in selected world locations, oil spills. All this may make you feel good, but again, there’s no evidence of skin penetration benefits.

One magazine faffed, “Seaweed-based products may help fight acne, fend off wrinkles, even block sun damage.” The sources for the story included the president and founder of a company selling a seaweed-based skin-care line in the US, a vice-president of research and development at Estée Lauder and (ha, now we’re getting somewhere!) a vice-president of ‘creative marketing’ for Revlon.